BLAME IT ON THE SUN

Why has the world been so messed up lately? Well, it could because of creepy spacestorms that have affected our ability to not act like whiny babies. This is not a joke.

Apparently, the sun has been giving off bursts of highly charged particles called CMEs (coronal mass ejections).  Some studies have found that during these emissions, hospital admissions for depression increase as well as suicide rates.

A study by Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta concluded that “unusually high levels of geomagnetic activity have a negative, statistically and economically significant effect on the following week’s stock return for all US stock market indexes.”

So these space rays not only make us sad, they steal our money too? And now to brace yourself for the worst: these storms are gonna make an upswing in the months to come.

Get your tin foil hats on everyone. We gotta prepare for a space invasion…

(He’s prepared…)

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