I haven’t written a blog in forever cause I’ve been busy with school, working everyday and generally just being a broke ass ninja, but I had to come back when I saw the 2013 VMAs. This had to be the worst VMAs in fucking history…not that anyone has taken MTV seriously since I was a zygote. But to the point…
Garbage Gaga opened the show with a performance so hilarious, it was like a scene from Spring Breakers. Except that movie wasn’t supposed to be funny either…or was it? I don’t know. The whole performance seemed like an SNL skit…it was so odd it went into the realm of parody. I was half expecting Andy Samberg to appear on stage wearing a black unitard and facepaint…but wait, Gaga’s backup dancers were doing that shit anyway!
Miley Cyrus had to put her stank on everything as usual. She was sticking her tongue everywhere, “twerking” awkwardly and traveling with her usual crew of paid black puppets. This reminds me of when Gwen Stefani used to roll with those Asian slaves all the time.
Drake’s head against a background of blue skies while he sang reminded me of Teletubbies. And of course he went from crooning a emo, techno-ish whiny song to his hit about “starting from the bottom”…does he mean the bottom of a wheelchair ramp? Cause he was on a wheelchair in Degrassi…get it? Hehehe…
The show wasn’t a total bust ’cause I got to see N’Sync make a comeback. That’s every girl who lived through 90s wet dream come alive.
AND ON A FINAL NOTE…IF THIS DOESN’T GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES, I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL.
I saw these rapping British children dressed as princesses on Ellen today. While party of me wanted to go “aww shucks, that’s adorable” the other part of me thought, “aww hell to the naw, what is wrong with the world?!?”
While the girls (especially the little brunette one) are talented, it disturbed me that these kids are emulating Nicki Minaj. I don’t have any babies, but if I I did, I don’t think I’d want them glorifying anyone who uses the word “anus” in a song…It reminded of a brilliant article I read HERE about the degradation and commercialism of pop music today.
I’ll get off my high horse now and stop with the preachy junk. After all, in 2nd grade my favorite song was “Gin & Juice” and I turned out only slightly abnormal…
Sorry for the lack of recent updates. I’ve been super busy, trying to expand the CSC line to include new tee designs as well as cut & sewn items for women and men…new collection launches sometime within early 2012 so look out. Anyhoo, 2011 is coming to a close. Most people like to end the year with a “Best Of” list, but we at CSC like to switch it up a bit. Now presenting the Top 9 Worst of 2011 List.
WORST FASHION TREND: ANIMAL HEAD HATS
There are only two reason to wear stuff like this:
a. You are in elementary school, ’cause in that case, it’s adorable.
b. You are at a rave and you’re too fucked up on pills to notice that you’re not in elementary school anymore.
RUNNER UP: Ugly glitter shoes
And of course I’m talking about Jonah Hill’s new cartoon on Fox, “Allen Gregory.” My expectations for this show were not too high, to be honest. Although I love Jonah HIll, I haven’t been entertained by cartoons on Fox since Carson Daly was considered cool.
It centers on the title character, Allen Gregory DeLongpre (voiced by Hill), a pretentious, snide, and general asswipe of a kid and his misadventures trying to adjust to life in public school.
To be honest, this show is definitely not for everyone. Some of the scenarios are just straight up weird (a bit in the pilot episode where 7-year-old Allen Gregory rubs down his obese, topless, 60-year-old principal in a dream sequence immediately comes to mind). And it’s not politically correct…Allen Gregory’s parents consists of a flamboyantly abusive gay dude and his younger, seemingly hetero partner he coerced into marriage. The humor is rude, offensive, and induces a few WTFs for sure, but if you’re into that sorta thing (like me) then you’ll love it.
Anyways, check out Allen Gregory before it gets canceled, like Fox seems to like to do with most bearable programming. Hey, maybe it can come back on Adult Swim?
CLICK HERE to check out the pilot on Hulu