This happens. Just kidding of course, we all know that white people named Justin Timberlake can dance.
For reasons beyond logical comprehension, fashion mega-label Lanvin decided it would be cool to have a bunch of lanky, chalk-skinned models gyrate awkwardly to an outdated Pitbull song for its fall campaign…watch the video for the ensuing hilarity.
But an empty womb ain’t one. Yeah that was a horrible joke, but it’s past my bedtime and my mind’s a bit fuzzy. Anyhoo, Beyonce announced at the VMAs that she is indeed expecting her first child with rapper/mogul husband Jay-Z. I love Jay and all, but let’s all pray the baby looks like her…oh and also that it’s healthy and smart and all that other junk.
Image (HuffingtonPost.com)
Sorry for the lack of posts this week but I’ve been a bit busy hacking up phlegm and whatnot. Now that I’m full of DayQuil and chicken soup I feel well enough to keep my dear readers informed of the latest musical happenings…
Mayer Hawthorne
Check out the Chromeo remix of Mayer Hawthorne’s “A Long Time.” You’ll find nothing new or groundbreaking in this song…there’s Chromeo’s signature 80’s beats and lots of synths over breathy vocals supplied by Hawthorne, but it’s still an awesome jam and a perfect way to keep the summer energy alive as fall swoops in.
Weird shit I saw this weekend…
1. A twenty-something year old female pee her pants and not notice for 5-10 minutes.
2. Producer/DJ/Mad Dacent Label founder Diplo’s baby mama breastfeeding.
3. Three children under age 9 wearing bright yellow muumuu dresses while their purple-haired mother stood nearby.
4. A twelve year old loudly chanting “Party every day!” during a set by Major Lazer.
Just where did I see all these shenanigans? Why The Mad Decent Block Party in L.A. of course! About 10,000 hipsters (and the occasional old Asian lady, toddler, and/or family of hillbillies) packed a fenced-off section of downtown Los Angeles for what had to be the best free event of the year.
There were food trucks, cool waterguns provided by WeSC, free drinks courtesy Sobe, footwear for sale by Native Shoes, and of course, a grip of super-talented DJs and live acts from the Mad Decent record label. Though there was some false advertising (Switch was obviously missing from the “Major Lazer” set) it was an amazingly awesome time and I look forward to next year’s show!
Why has the world been so messed up lately? Well, it could because of creepy spacestorms that have affected our ability to not act like whiny babies. This is not a joke.
Apparently, the sun has been giving off bursts of highly charged particles called CMEs (coronal mass ejections). Some studies have found that during these emissions, hospital admissions for depression increase as well as suicide rates.
A study by Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta concluded that “unusually high levels of geomagnetic activity have a negative, statistically and economically significant effect on the following week’s stock return for all US stock market indexes.”
So these space rays not only make us sad, they steal our money too? And now to brace yourself for the worst: these storms are gonna make an upswing in the months to come.
Get your tin foil hats on everyone. We gotta prepare for a space invasion…
(He’s prepared…)
I don’t know if this is really the anniversary of Hip Hop’s birth. Either way, this song is a worthy anthem. Check it out…“Happy Birthday Hip Hop,” produced and performed by BIG K.R.I.T. feat. Yelawolf.
via BIG K.R.I.T. – Happy Birthday Hip Hop (feat. Yelawolf) (prod. BIG K.R.I.T.).
Kristen Stewart of Twilight fame graces the newest issue of W magazine…kinda weird since she’s painfully awkward and doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about fashion but whatever. The makeup team and photographer definitely put this photo-shoot together well ’cause she looks stunning.
It’s time again for HACK or WACK, where we dissect the latest fashion trends and give them the CSC stamp of approval (HACK) or take ’em to the trash like last week’s pizza (WACK)
HACK: BLAZERS
Why: Whether you’re a girl or a boy, blazers class up any outfit. Throw one on with a tee or v-neck for a laidback feel. Especially awesome are the ones with a crest or emblem over the pocket…you’ll be as fly as the Fresh prince in no time.
WACK: TINY ASS SHORTS
Why: Shorts that are too effin small go by a variety of names…daisy dukes, hot pants, or my personal fave coochie cutters. No matter what you call them they’re straight up retarded. I don’t know when this became trendy, but I’ve seen so many ass cheeks in the past few months that I’ve considered burning my corneas just to spare my sanity. Unless you are a prostitute and you need to wear these to understandably increase your profit margin, put them shits away!
Or does anyone else find these creeper coconut water ads with Rihanna, random, confusing and tiniest bit disturbing…
THE BEAT: BY CSC 